Celebrating My Mom on Mother’s Day

Still an Inspiration After All of These Years

"We should dwell less on what dementia patients are incapable of and focus more on celebrating what they are capable of doing." — Theresa Klein, an occupational therapist who has been caring for people with dementia for 23 years

Whenever I return to my childhood home in Santa Cruz to visit my mom, we settle into familiar routines she enjoys—gardening, cooking, attending Sunday mass, taking walks, playing golf, and occasionally indulging in spontaneous, playful moments because that’s just who she is. These are activities that have defined much of her adult life. And though she’s now 86 and in the early stages of dementia, these routines hold deeper meaning than ever.

Growing up, my mom was the heart of our household. She managed everything—caring for us when we were sick, patching up scraped knees, and playing ball with us when neighborhood kids weren’t around. As we got older and participated in school sports, she was right there: driving us to practice, cheering at games, even coaching my sister’s softball and basketball teams. She drew on her own experience as a standout high school athlete.

She was also a strong student with college aspirations, but her family couldn’t afford to send her. Still, she made the most of her opportunities, working for two decades as a part-time paraeducator, supporting children with learning and intellectual disabilities.

Growing up on a small family farm in Oklahoma, my mom shared a two-bedroom house with her parents and nine brothers and sisters—without electricity or plumbing. She knew hardship from an early age. But in all the years I’ve known her, I’ve rarely heard her complain or feel sorry for herself. Quite the opposite. She’s always had a lighthearted, fun-loving spirit and never took herself too seriously. Even now, when words slip away or her memory falters, she meets it with laughter—often poking fun at herself.

During a visit earlier this year, my sisters and I took her for a walk at a local park. When we passed a baseball diamond, her playful spirit sparked to life. Out of the blue, she said she wanted to run the bases. So we did—and we celebrated at the end (see video below). Because in that moment, she reminded us again that even as her memory fades, her determination and zest for life are still very much a part of her—just as they were when she raised us, with so much love and care.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

Love, Steve

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree

The video below was filmed and narrated by my younger sister Karen, who provides most of the care for our mom. Her dedication doesn’t go unnoticed, and our family deeply appreciates all that she does.